Now on to what the text is about. Most of you know that I am getting married June 5th. I like most men who approach this momentous occasion have been having my nerves tested. I found myself really questioning what marriage was supposed to be about, what exactly am I getting into, but primarily how do I make sure that I am a good husband for Jess. I found a review of Pipers book on a friends blog, www.se7enty6ix.com and decided to give it a whirl. I am glad I did.
What is marriage? Its a very good question. Most would say its a lifelong union between a man and a woman, some today would even argue that it is a temporary contractual agreement that is voided when times get hard or someone gets a little overly annoying, but Piper sets this all straight. Marriage is a covenant set up between man and woman as a reflection of the covenant between Christ and his bride the church.
Guys you want to know how to be a good husband, look at how Christ lead the church. Women you want to be a good wife, look at how the Church is meant to follow Christ. So many questions out there I thought about over and over these past couple of months. For example I spent sometime wondering what exactly the bible meant when in Ephesians it says Wives submit to your husbands, and husbands love your wives as Christ did the church? Is this some sexist statement. Not at all. The husband is meant to be the spiritual leader of the household, the one accountable for the spiritual well being of his family, think about that responsibility before you consider marriage for yourself.
What does it mean for a wife to submit? Piper quickly uses scripture to knock down any ideas of egalitarianism. Women are not to never challenge their husband, they aren't meant to leave their brains at the alter. They are meant to support their husband. Biblically the marriage covenant is broken up in to well defined roles. Headship for the husband, and the nurturer for the wife. Guys headship is not dictatorship. Christ displays true leadership through out scripture, by serving his disciples and laying his life down for us all. This is what a husband is meant to do, to lead his family, to serve them, and to lay his life down for them. We should all make sure we are spiritually ready for this before we take this step, I pray that God gives me the strength to be this for Jess.
Piper also addresses issues of change. People will change, your spouse will change over time. Remember you are married for better or for worse, people don't always improve over time. One of my favorite parts of Pipers book is a chapter where he discusses this change. Next time you are faced with confrontation and worn down because you want your spouse to change something, step back and change yourself. Odds are there are things you could change within yourself for your spouse as well. Piper put it best like this, we are responsible in the end for answering for ourselves, we need to take strides in improving ourselves spiritually. Whats best about this is that when your spouse accepts and feels like you accept them and will continue to be with them without their change they will in fact change. It's when change is not brought to us as an ultimatum that we as people find it easiest to work on ourselves.
I have rambled here, and hope that I have not misrepresented anything that Piper wrote about. I am rereading many chapters of this book, looking over scripture, and praying that when I marry Jessica that I will endure and will love my wife as Christ loved the church, selflessly.
I also want to note that the book is valuable to both singles and married people alike. Piper also addresses those of us who are meant to be or have chosen a life of singleness. Christ has plans for both, and each carries different blessings.
5/5
Great, great book, read it this spring. Good review.
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